Day 41: Boyhood

Some of my favorite times with Rex have been his journeys of exploration. Just a few days ago he discovered the joy of floating a helium balloon up to the ceiling fan and letting the blades of the fan hit the balloon. He cracked up wildly whenever the blades would push the balloon out of the way, just to have the balloon drift back toward the fan. At first I debated (and Colette debated too) whether we should let him do this. What if the string gets caught in the fan? What if the string gets caught and begins to pull him up toward the fan? What if he doesn't let go and suddenly he's on the ceiling? These are the thoughts of responsible parents, but sometimes being responsible isn't all there is. We let him keep at it.

John Eldredge writes, "Boyhood is a time of exploration and wonder, and to be a boy is to be an explorer...." (Fathered By God). Rex is an explorer and we let him explore. Granted, these are explorations for two year-olds, experiments with balloons and balls and things like that. We're not doing things too risky, not mixing chemicals, not handling loaded weapons, not jumping off cliffs. But, I have to say, there is risk involved. The balloon could pop, could get stuck, could break free from its string and be stuck on the ceiling forever. But this isn't bad. I want Rex to risk, to engage the moment, even if there's something to lose.

You see, I want Rex to be safe, but more than that, I don't want him to be afraid. That's why risks--calculated ones--are so valuable, even for a boy. I don't think you learn to be strong except through situations that require strength. You don't learn to protect except through the possibility of loss. You don't learn to be brave except through facing danger. That's why boyhood needs to be about exploration and wonder, because through boyhood, you're making a man, and exploration is necessary to make a man. More often a man is not made by the smooth and the sanitary, but by the rough and the risky.